august 06, 2016 05:22 pm

"help!", his mind yelled. "it's coming back again!". he clenched his fist until it became as tight as the muscles in his stomach, digging each of his nails deep into the softest part of his palm. this isn't the first time that he felt this way and it certainly wouldn't be the last.

but, isn't that the point? isn't that why you're here? to let go of something? to let go of the concept that you are further away from something than you would like to be? letting go can be difficult but, i promise, it starts with loosening your fist.

what a beautiful body, creating chemicals from nothing in an attempt to protect you. what a perfect mind, doing exactly as it should.

it took you so long to appreciate the subtle way that it grew. if only it came as naturally as falling in love with the feeling of it being destroyed.

april 25, 2016 12:35 am

here's a short song that i wrote and recorded a long time ago but never actually shared with anyone. i found it on my computer recently and thought that i'd give it away for free. i doubt this thing will show up on any future albums anyway.

a house, a home, a window
you were here before the floorboards broke
in on themselves like black holes
are the promises you keep
just for people that you want

because you can't read any of our old conversations
but i read them so often it's like we still talk

december 20, 2015 05:40 pm

two tracks recorded in october of 2015. it rained for the first time in what felt like months. the rain has always felt light to me, even when it weighs heavy on your clothes. some of my favorite memories include admiring a storm much stronger than i am.

i want to smell the rain forever. i want the wind to blow so strongly that i can barely stand. i want to hear it in the trees when i'm trying to sleep.

a short video clip of me working on this piece.

august 27, 2015 02:08 am

after months of hard work, the new flatsound shop is now officially up and running smoothly. it's been a long time dream of mine to handle my own merchandise. something about having a company manage my merch never felt right. the thought of someone i didn't even know assembling my packages, it never felt like something that really belonged to me. the music, the writing, the poetry, that's all my art but...at the same time, so is everything else. the interactions that i have with strangers and the pieces of myself that i share with them and the stupid tweets and pictures of the sky and now all of this. 

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i don't know. i just want to make cool stuff for a living, and i'm really glad that i get to do that. 

actual updates
- sleep shirts are almost gone, but are already being reprinted as i type this
- flatsound floral shirts are coming back soon i swear
- there's an obscure but very cool thing coming to the shop next week. it isn't flatsound merch, it's more of an art piece
- backpacks are just about gone, but are coming back this fall in a new color option
- sweatshirts are also coming back this fall, along with mugs and beanies hopefully!
 

april 19, 2015 01:18 am

the last time april 19th landed on a sunday was in 2009. i sat in my bedroom and recorded a song with an episode of captain planet playing in the background. flatsound had only just started, i was eighteen years old.

i had no idea that six years later i'd be making a living off of writing sad songs like that, songs about missing people. or that soon after recording it i would get sick, and that the world would suddenly become loud, and that i'd stop leaving the house. i often thought of all the things that i would tell myself if i had the opportunity to go back. all those generic guidelines you dream up while lying in bed in hopes that it would result in a better future.

that depression is a roller coaster. that the sadness will pass. that you'll go on to love, lose, and miss so many other people in those six years leading up to typing this. that life gets better.

depression isn't a roller coaster, it's more like losing the ambition to visit the theme park. the sadness doesn't pass as much as it washes over you back and forth like the tide when it kisses the shore. you'll learn to love many people in the six years leading up to typing this, namely, yourself. life doesn't get better, you wake up every morning and find the ambition to make it better. you reach out to people and get help. you try. 

thank you to anyone who follows what i do. this week my first album, scotland, i wish you had stayed, is available for free on soundcloud and bandcamp.